


'Cause It's Just The Bones You're Made Of

by Triple_Gemini



Series: The McKirk Alternatum [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dancing, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, What Was I Thinking?, and this is evidence I need sleep, there is a lot of dancing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 22:44:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2790428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Triple_Gemini/pseuds/Triple_Gemini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Excerpt:</p><p>When Jim gets a phone call at ass-o-clock in the morning. Well, he doesn't know what to think. He's still only halfway through his evenings plans (consisting mainly on getting drunk), So when he gets the phone call, his phone belting out some crappy, all too jaunty tune that Gaila set his ring tone to that he somehow never got around to changing, he grimaces, and bites back any scathing remark he's about to make to whoever dared interrupt his evenings plans.</p><p>So far, he's only halfway through his to-do list. So when Pike calls him, asking him whether he wants to take part in some ridiculous TV... Thingymajig... Well, of course, in his alcohol induced stupor...he says ..yes?</p><p>Maybe not so succinctly, he's pretty sure there were a lot of curse words, maybe a few too many ramblings and he's almost certain there was singing involved at one point. But the point is, he agreed. So now he's in some kind of contract. And it involves dancing.</p><p>Lots of dancing.</p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The TV dance show au you never knew you wanted and probably still don't. </p><p>Jim's a contestant of a TV dance program and Leonard McCoy is a proffesional dancer for the show. Things happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Cause It's Just The Bones You're Made Of

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. It's probably crap. I haven't even read this through because I wrote it at like two in the morning and I don't function at that time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, I merely borrow the characters and return them slightly damaged and deeply in love. *cough cough*

When Jim gets a phone call at ass-o-clock in the morning. Well, he doesn't know what to think. He's still only halfway through his evenings plans, consisting of:

1.Getting drunk  
2.Wallowing in self pity  
3.Finding a hot chick to take his mind off things  
And  
4\. Getting a little more drunk.

When he gets the phone call, his phone belting out some crappy, all too jaunty tune that Gaila set his ring tone to that he somehow never got around to changing, he grimaces, and bites back any scathing remark he's about to make to whoever dared interrupt his evenings plans.

So far, he's only got to number 2. So when Pike calls him, asking him whether he wants to take part in some ridiculous TV... Thingymajig... Well, of course, in his alcohol induced stupor...he says .. _yes?_

Maybe not so succinctly, he's pretty sure there were a lot of curse words, maybe a few too many ramblings and he's almost certain there was singing involved at one point. But the point is, he agreed. So now he's in some kind of contract. And it involves dancing.

Lots of dancing.

Still. It's payed. And right now, he could use the money. He lost his last job when he fucked up one too many times and his boss didn't seem to think having sex with your co workers over his desk was particularly amusing. So his manager fired him and now he has to humiliate himself in front of millions of people on tv by partaking in the nations favourite dancing competition. _It's official_ , his brain supplies as he pulls on his jeans and straightens out his shirt, _the universe hates him_.

He checks his reflexion in the mirror. His hair's messy, Sticking up all over the place in a way that no amount of moulding could tame it. His eyes look heavy, that's because of the hangover that feels like someone's bashing his head against the wall repeatedly and his body's not in as good shape as it used to be. He sighs heavily and grabs his keys from the dish by his door, shutting it so it slams and quakes the walls a little, just so it'll piss off the neighbours. He locks it behind him, keeping his eyes locked onto the road ahead of him to make his way to the studio.

 

The place is big, huge in fact, with large white blaring lettering labelling the building as the Enterprise Studios. He grimaces and swallows back the bile in his throat. He can do this. He's danced in plenty of clubs before. But there's always been alcohol involved... And he can't get drunk on national TV. _And_ his dancing at bars and clubs doesn't usually get subjected to the scrutiny of over 9.4 million viewers. So yes, he's fucked. And _not_ in a good way.

He pushes open the door and clambers up what feels like fifty billion steps before he reaches the entrance signposted 'contestants' so he lets out a long suffering sigh and walks through the door to his impending doom.

When the door clicks behind him quietly, the receptionist peers up to him behind her computer and gives him a cheery smile, which makes him more nervous, if that were possible. She hands him a name tag, considering it has 'Kirk' scrawled on the front, there's no need for introductions. Still, he leans over to read her own 'Rand'.

"Thank you, Miss Rand." Jim grins, and she blushes, which makes him smile a little brighter. _Hes still got It_. He thinks smugly .

"It's Janice, please. Dressing rooms are through there." She gestures to a doorway on her right. "Hair and makeup's in 30 minutes and filming's in an hour. You'll be meeting your partner today, rehearsals start tomorrow, okay?" Janice States sweetly. He nods in thanks and walks into the dressing room, where his costume is laid and waiting for him already. And it's probably one of the skimpiest outfits he's ever had to wear in public. The White, diamanté covered shirt barely buttons up, exposing most of his chest. The sky blue pants are tight. Really tight. And made from some synthetic fabric that supposedly makes it easier to move.

He shifts uncomfortably in his outfit, adjusting his shirt in the mirror and heads towards the hair and makeup department, stopping when the sound of muffled shouting echoes through the corridor. Jim stops at the doorframe, just able to see the back of a tall brunette man, who's gesturing wildly to Christopher Pike.

"Dammit Chris! Don't make me do this! This wasn't part of the deal!"

"Actually, McCoy, I have a contract you signed saying it is."

"I can't work with her!"

"I'm sorry we have to put you through with this but we don't have another option. Lacey and her partner just dropped out and you and Jocelyn will be perfect in their place. You two won last year Len. You're the only ones who know the routine. So no, I'm afraid you don't have a choice. Make it work, I know you can. Just suffer through the routine once and we won't force this on you again." Pike says, walking towards Jim and nearly bumping into him as he walks out.

"Kirk! It's about time you arrived. They're asking for you in hair and makeup." Pike says.

"Yeah, I'm just heading down there." Jim mumbles in reply, heading down the corridor.

"Oh, and kid?" Pike calls after him. Jim turns on his heel to look back at the older man. "Break a leg out there." He says and disappears down one of the many corridors of Enterprise studios.

The other man, Mc-something-or-other, is still standing in the other entrance, and even with has back to Jim, the blonde can still see the heavy rise and fall of his broad shoulders from shouting. The man leans against the door to his dressing room, effectively pushing it open with his body and closes it behind him with a click. Jim just glimpses the profile of the brunette before he disappears, the tanned skin, generous lips and long dark eyelashes are momentarily lit up by the lights inside of his dressing room before the corridor becomes empty again.

One of the makeup artists drags him by the hand into the styling room, where he gets pushed unceremoniously onto a chair while a dozen people work on his hair and face, while another runs over his directions when the cameras start filming, as if he hasn't been told this a hundred times during this week already.

15 minutes later, with his hair gelled upwards and his eyes lined heavily in black in a way that 'totally makes his eyes pop' according to the stylist, Jims being pushed into the room with all the other contestants. They're... _Nice_. Some of them are a little unusual, like the guy... Montgomery. Jim recognises him off TV as the presenter of the show that always ends up In at least one of the presenters injuring themselves while they all try to invent the best jet powered bicycle or time travelling space toasters. There's a few other presenters, musicians, actors and musicians -like himself-, even a model. But he feels oddly out of place. These are all famous people. People who are doing well for themselves. Not country boy fuck ups who had one too many drinks and signed up to this mistakenly.

He distantly hears the call for the contestants. One at a time their names are called out. Montgomery first. Then the South Korean actor, Hikaru Sulu, a few more he hasn't really ever heard of. Carol Marcus, the model and Geoffrey M'Benga the presenter. And finally Jim's name is called out. He steps out onto the platform and looks down onto the stage. God, he's actually going to have to perform on this thing. It's not like he hasn't seen it before. There were plenty of rehearsals before this night. But lit up under strobe lighting and surrounded by the large audience, he can kinda get why people would want to dance here. It's a rush. It's exhilarating.

He takes a deep breath, puts on his grin and waves to the audience, who are cheering and clapping so he figures he most be doing something right. He runs jauntily down the steps, never stopping waving to the audience and takes his place in the row of contestants.

The presenters are introduced, over dramatically and with too much enthusiasm if you ask him, but the audience seem to be digging it, so who is he to judge? Speaking of, the judges are introduced next. A man who looks no older than 25 and wearing a large smile first. A woman, dressed elegantly in red second and finally, a dark haired man who just looks plain impassive. _Aren't you meant to smile at these things?_ Jim asks himself. But the man is sitting so upright he looks like he's got a stick up the ass. He's introduced as Spock, and Jim remembers him from the show last year. Tough to please. Still, Jims up for the challenge of getting Mr stoic to give him a 10 before he inevitably gets voted off.

"So, later in the show we'll be joining our contestants as they meet their dance partners for the first time, and, we'll have a special performance by the one and only, Ben Howard everybody! With his latest single!" The presenter says enthusiastically, and the crowd cheers even louder. "But first, let's say a big hello to our Strictly Come Dancing professionals of 2014!"

The stage is suddenly flooded with the professional dancers all taking their places dramatically in front of the contestants. "First up, Montgomery Scott, partnered with Darwin!" The presenter announces as the dark skinned woman moves gracefully over to the Scottish man. One by one they're partnered off. Hikaru is partnered with the curly haired Russian girl Pavelina, who doesn't look a day over 18.

His head snaps up at the mention of McCoy's name, the announcer declaring him as last years champion and partnered with Carol Marcus. Now he can actually see the mans face, he's a little taken aback. The man's... _Hot_. There's no real other way to describe it. The very definition of 'tall, dark and handsome.' He's wearing a large smile, but even Jim can tell its a little forced.

And really. He should stop staring, because his name's being called out, and he's being paired with Nyota Uhura. He notices out of the corner of his eye, Spock giving him an incredulous look and he grins a little bigger.

"And that's it! Our contestants have their partners. Join us after the break for our special performances and our couples first dance!" The presenter announces for the last time before the cameras are switched off. Now they have just a week to learn their routines before competing for the first time.

***

 

At first, he gets the impression Uhura doesn't like him too much. She aims for perfection in her dancing, and expects Jim to do the same without fail, which in one way, is amazing. It means he's more sure on his feet and he's building up a little more muscle from all the weight training he's been doing. It's safe to say his muscles don't like him too much right now though. He tells the camera crew just as much when they arrive for filming. They take a lot of footage of him and Uhura going over the steps, and while he's not great, Uhura tells him he's improved, in which he responds with a victory dance, and she promptly takes it back.

They're eating in a café close to the dance studios talking over their routine when Jim finally asks about Leonard McCoy. She looks a little startled but quickly composes herself.

"What do you wanna know?" She asks, still chewing thoughtfully on her pasta.

"He won last year, so what's his problem with performing this year?"

"You didn't hear Kirk?" She raises an eyebrow when he shakes his head. "I shouldn't be telling you this, but you're gonna hear it eventually anyway. If anyone asks, it didn't come from me alright?"

He nods, intrigued.

"They were engaged." Nyota tells him, "Leonard and his dance partner, Jocelyn." and that causes him to almost choke on his food. "Then Leonard's father got ill and Leo put all his attention on his dad so she started sleeping around. He broke it off and they haven't danced together since. It's a shame, they were wonderful together. He lost his way slightly but I think the new series will set him straight."

"Uh I dunno about that." Jim says, wondering whether he should tell Uhura what he's overheard in the styling studio. Hell, she probably knows already. Besides, it's not like he can back out now. She squints her eyes at him.

"What d'you know, kirk?"

"I, uh, overheard McCoy and Pike in the styling studio. Pike's bringing Jocelyn back to dance with McCoy in next weeks show. The other couple dropped out last minute."

Uhura almost spits out her drink. He stands from his chair to move around the table and pat her back to stop her from choking. "You're kidding right?" Uhura asks, voice a little croaky.

"That's what I heard."

"That's insane! Len's been in a bad mood these past few days... Well. _Worse_ mood. I didn't think- shit." She stands up and stretches her long legs. "C'mon, you need to rehearse more and I'm gonna got have a talk with Cupid."

"Cupid?"

"McCoy. He played Cupid in Xena: Warrior Princess before he started dancing? We all call him Cupid. And if you even tell him I told you that, they won't ever find your body."

 

He shivers, pays their bill and follows her out of the café. The walk back to the Enterprise is only a few minutes long, and Uhura manages to go over some pointers for their first dance. She leaves him as soon as they reach the door, running up the steps with a fleeting; "Gets some practice in!" And then she disappears around the corner.

He traipses back to the studio, but the mere thought of more dancing makes with muscles protest. He spies the sofa in the corner, sighs happily and falls onto it with a thud. He doesn't mean to fall asleep, really. But when he wakes, it's to an angry looking Nyota Uhura staring down at him with her eyebrows drawn together in a frown.

"What're you doing?!"

"Practice." Jim mumbles back.

"Yeeeah.. No. Get up, one more rehearsal and then you can sleep." Nyota states.

Jim groans and let's his head fall back against the sofa.

**

When he eventually does get to sleep that evening, it's not before researching online about a very young looking Leonard McCoy in body harness, with a large pair of white wings and bleached blonde hair, and really, when he wakes up, he doesn't feel that much more rested.

**

The day of the filming comes all too quickly. He gets into his costume, he's covered in a layer of makeup and his hair is gelled upwards ready for the cameras. He hears the presenters welcome the audience and the judges and then they're ushered into the waiting room overlooking the centre stage.

"Give an extra special round of applause to our guest, Ben Howard, with his new single; [Bones](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64VbS1Lkx7E)!" The presenter says, as the lights flood the top of the stage where the band start to play, the guitarist playing an intro first, before the male's voice fills the hall.

_Go, fair from this small town bar, we know.  
And go, frolic in the lights that brought you here. So very low._

 

Two spot lights appear on stage, followed by more cheers from the audience.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" The presenter announces over the tannoy. "Please welcome to the stage, last years winners; Jocelyn Darnell and Leonard McCoy!"

_And hold. Hold your lips so tightly that the shadows may go._  
_Because I know, I know, I know, I know_  
_That you can never be alone.  
'Cause it's just the bones you're made of._

The band continues to play as Jocelyn and Leonard sweep effortlessly over the dance floor, never once looking each other in the eye. It's surprising how light footed McCoy is, considering how well he's built. They break away from each other, and the routine tells the tale of mistrust and betrayal to a T. They've used their own hate towards each other to tell a story in the dance and its works beautifully.

_And you laugh like you've never been lonely_  
_That's alright honey_  
_That's alright with me_  
_Oh you laugh like there's hope in the story_  
_That's alright honey_  
_That's alright with me_  
_Oh you laugh like I'll be there to hold you always_  
_Always honey._  
_Always here_

 

They finish with their backs pressed against each other, their hands barely touching, wearing forced smiles while the audience erupt into applause. She leans up to whisper something in his ear, which he nods to, his mouth curving downwards ever so slightly as the spots lights dim again.

  
Leonard turns up in the waiting room 15 minutes later, in a new gleaming White outfit to match his partner. Nyota flings her arms around him, whispering congratulations, because the performance _was_ stunning. The others pat him on the back and smile brightly at him and he looks a little happier than he did on the dance floor. Scotty and Darwin are called out to the stage and Jim watches on apprehensively, laughing when Scotty nearly falls flat on his face in the first few steps. He looks more like a headless chicken than a dance contestant, but the audience is laughing and they'll keep him in because it's hilarious to watch.

A large hand lands on his shoulder, the heat radiating through his shirt.

"You need to relax kid, you're jumpier than a turkey on thanksgivin'." The southern drawl says behind him, and Jim forces himself to relax sightly, kind of hard considering the proximity of the _superhotgorgeoustalented_ professional dancer next to him.

"It's easy for you to say. You've probably been dancing since you were 2 right?" Jim asks without taking his eyes off the stage. Leonard gives a loud bark of laughter.

"Nah. My daddy wanted me to be a doctor. He wasn't too pleased when I joined the theatre." Len says solemnly. "Anyway, you're being called out. Good luck out there kid."

Jim just catches his name being announced and gets pulled along by Uhura, where they take place in the stage.

The music fills the room, the song Jim's had to listen to over and over again throughout the past week. He concentrates on keeping the smile plastered on his face, his hips swaying in the way the Cha Cha Cha is famous for and his arms moving flamboyantly.

It's so easy to loose himself on a stage like this. The audience is loud and almost deafening to his ears. The band is playing wonderfully and he thinks maybe he could enjoy this. Maybe.

Before he knows it, the songs over and Uhura's got him wrapped in a tight hug. He's grinning too as she leads him over to the judges table, where the presenter enthusiastically congratulates them on a great performance.

"That looked.. Effortless." Chapel says. "You made a little mistake in the middle, but your arms are so expressive. it was a great Cha Cha Cha." Jim nods in thanks.

"It was a good first dance." Spock says impassively. "You slipped up halfway through, and your hand movements need to be a little more controlled but you have a good sense of rhythm." He nods, and the criticism only makes him want to do better next time. And he promptly reminds himself that there _will_ be a next time and he'll have to do all the rehearsing again over the next week. He inwardly groans and wishes for his bed more than anything, but first they have to collect their scores.

They head up the stairs, where the crowd of fellow contestants wait for them and pat them on the back good-naturedly. The presenter waits for them to join her before announcing "The judges have their scores."

Chapel, the first judge, awards them a 7, which is pretty good for a first dance. The same again for Keenser, the second judge. Finally, Spock holds up his card with a bold number '6' printed on the front. Overall, 20 out of 30 isn't bad for a first attempt. But he's determined to get that 10 from Spock. And when he feels the broad surface of a palm on his back and a southern drawl in his ear saying "You did good kid. Keep it up." Maybe he starts to believe it'll be possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, you'll notice the first song Jim sees bones dance to is called "Bones" gee, I wonder how he gets the nickname.
> 
> The song is found here in case you haven't heard of it.  
> www.youtube.com/watch?v=64VbS1Lkx7E

**Author's Note:**

> That was anticlimactic I know.  
> Let me know what you think, I might continue at a more appropriate time of the day.


End file.
